Remember your happy.
The feeling you have right now nestled within your core. Unforced, unexplainable – just a part of who
you are down deep. Remember the night
over beers when innocently your new best friend conveyed to you the moment when
she truly sensed your happiness – overhead laughter and conversation from the
mezzanine above – how she and her partner both became aware of it in that
instant, heard it in your voice, in your exuberance, in just being you.
Remember your contentment the next time you are entwined in
this life with someone else – don’t lose it even if he’s unhappy himself – don’t
try and shoulder that burden as it only brings you down too. Recognize and acknowledge it but don’t make
it yours – don’t misplace your spirit in it as you did once before – stay true
to yourself and you’ll be stronger for it together. Work on your happiness – feed it so that he
can feel it too – wrap up both up in happy – it’s contagious.
When the speed bumps come and surely they will – they always
do – remember who you are today – this 36 year old version of yourself – the girl
who lost herself for a few months but who bounced right back when she awoke to
this misstep. The girl who is secure
enough in who she is to admit her mistakes, laugh at her silliness, concede her
brattiness and identify her ability to push too far. Know you’re not perfect but that’s okay, it’s
not reason to be unhappy anyway, perfect
is boring. Let people judge if they
must, let them question or manipulate or giggle at you in the mirror but
remember that is a reflection of them, their own insecurities and needs – don’t
let them become your own. Let go of the
negative, the gossip. Life is too short
for that and goodbye is truly okay.
Keep the people close that add to your own inherent
happiness, the ones who spread joy themselves – both in sharing their own and
celebrating yours – those are the ones worth keeping, the ones that will still
be by your side when shit inevitably hits the fan and the tears begin to fall. The ones that won’t walk away when your mean
little devil speaks out in a moment of weakness, a moment of hurt. The ones that will remind you that you are
beautiful and worth of greatness when you forget yourself. The ones that know the truth of your
happiness and embrace it. Let it shine
through. Remember your happy.
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