Letters to you... believe in yourself

There is a fine line between love and hate and we are firmly entrenched on the side of hate - at least right now.  In this moment.  Once you seemingly basked in my belief of you - used it as fuel to push harder, heavier, further, faster - used it to fuel your fire.  Now my pushing is resented, returned back to me in a harsh stare, the glare in your eyes unimpressed, annoyed.  Reflected further in your excuses, your doubts. 

I have nothing more to lose though from this place where I now stand - lost it already trying to fight for us - what I see now is that my pleading for us was a lost cause, you could never fight for us when you can't even find the fight in yourself right now - doubt rooted deep.  You are surrounded by good enough rather than great and you can be great - have been great.  I've seen it with my own eyes.

So forgive me now for my pushing, prodding - being proud of you always.  For seeing your potential, your progress - you are amazing, spectacular - though you've lost that for the moment, your confidence receded.  But the man I know and recognize, the man I lived with for a time, the man I loved - he is magnificent and beautiful and capable of enormous things.  The man you are now, the boy I look at - he seems more lost than ever, unsure, skeptical.  Broken even.  Believe in your greatness.  Your ability.  The capacity within you to do remarkable things – leave your mark on this world.

When we were together you basked in my belief of you - now you stare back at me with bitterness, blame - your belief in yourself disappeared, dissipated - my belief in you now rings false in your ears though it's the same as it's always been.  You were always enough for me, that man that pushed himself, strived to be better every single day, who was learning and growing and loving - but you could barely see that then and you definitely can't see it now.  I wish you could see yourself through my eyes, see your beauty and strength and the power that you could harness if only you believed.  Believe in your greatness.  Your ability.  The capacity within you to do remarkable things – leave your mark on this world. Believe in you.