My story... the start

There are lemons on the tree now.  And though the sun is shining it grows colder by the day.  A new season dawns.  Winters come calling.

Every corner of every street is lined with memories of him, a cloud of sadness weighs over me as I do the things we once did together.  Trying the best I can to breathe new life into our old traditions as the tears blur my eyes.  I cry for the beauty of what once was, what was real, what was fleeting.  It feels like he’s dying but rather it’s just a little part of me.

But this is not a sad story.  It’s a story of our glorious six months.  Of 223 straight days of talk and texts and telephone calls.  Together.  An epic torrent of shared emotions that left heartbreak in its wake as only real love can.  This is my story.

It’s a story of connection and contentment, of finding just what we needed in each other through the heat of the summer months.  It’s a story of hope and hurt and family.  Of sparkles and strength and real life.  It’s about the lessons, learning.  Of growth.

This isn’t a story about trying to win him back or for finding the answers to all that went wrong though I can see the signs in hindsight ever so clearly.  Blinded for a while by my eternal optimism but know that now, in this moment our paths have diverged.

This is a story about faith, about discovering what I want, what I need and more importantly what I deserve.  It’s about learning the lessons that any relationship presents to us and about moving forward.  With him I had an amazing adventure but I know that there are many more still to come, my life will be a beautiful journey.  I trust implicitly that I will have everything I can dream of and that these are just stepping stones along the way to the great love of my life.  Because I will have one.