Resonating... the beloved relationship

The Beloved Relationship. ~ Bettina Goodwin


A Beloved Relationship is when you speak your partner’s name and the very sound of it, the feel of it on your tongue is gentle, loving, beautiful, honoring.

It is the sweetness of a shared moment that only you and your partner understand. It is freedom, knowing, caring and joy. A natural flow of two hearts in one direction.

My husband often tells people that the most loving thing I ever said to him was, “I don’t need you.” When he shares this, I smile but he gets all sorts of different reactions from people. Some nod their head in understanding and others are bewildered by it. One thing is for sure though – I really don’t need my husband and he doesn’t need me.

But…

We love each other unconditionally.

We give each other the space to feel and work through whatever we need to.

We create a safe place for each other to share our truth.

We don’t take things personally.

We don’t have secrets.

We share what is in our heart of hearts in the most loving of ways.

And when we fail at any of these things as we do from time to time, we forgive ourselves and are secure in the knowledge that each of us will understand and love the other anyway. Here are the five major steps to take towards The Beloved Relationship.

Go within.

The Beloved Relationship actually begins within you. The most important thing we need to do is to be what we want to attract. So if you want a beloved relationship, one of unconditional love, of caring and respect and honor, then you must feel all of these things for yourself. And once you can feel it towards yourself, you will naturally treat others in kind.

Don’t blame.

The Beloved Relationship doesn’t mean you never get upset or angry or hurt. What it does mean is that you can take responsibility for those feelings and work through them without blaming the other person.

Be Vulnerable.

It also means that you trust the other person enough, feel safe enough to express your vulnerability to them, knowing they will listen without judgment, criticism or trying to fix it for you.

Be Compassionate.

It’s a big part of getting through conflict in a Beloved Relationship. Compassion is being able to listen, understand, empathize and allow the other person to feel what they need to feel, say what they need to say and be who they need to be during times of stress, pain, loss, fear, anger and upset. It can exist in silence.

Love Yourself.

With total self-love you enter into the relationship knowing that you are worthy, beautiful, strong, wise and kind and that you don’t need the relationship to show you these things about yourself. The relationship can be the reflection of what you feel inside. (It is always a reflection of your inner world.)

Now doesn’t that take a lot of the pressure off of each individual in the relationship? Things flow, you can have fun and there are no conditions upon which you share your love. You both come to the table loving yourselves unconditionally and that love flows steadily back and forth between you in waves of joy, peace and passion.

It’s not about the things we give each other but the feelings we share. And we can only share what we feel inside us. So if what you’re sharing isn’t what you’d like, maybe it’s time to make a change from the inside and share what you really want on the outside.